I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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