I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
