last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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