I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
