I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
