YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
