so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
