i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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