"it" just moved
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
