imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
