I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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