he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
