you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
