Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
