Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
