i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
