think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
