I just saw a hot homeless man
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
