Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
