Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize