do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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