Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
