Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize