i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
