You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
