do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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