Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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