Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
