Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
