meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
