very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
