His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
