hotel room ftw
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
