1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
