When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
