The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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