A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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