Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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