I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
