Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i drank out of a bidet.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
