i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
