i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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