At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
