it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
it was like eating out sand paper
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
