Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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