You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i will never coherently bang her
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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