so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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