why do cheetos always look like penises
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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