why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
