If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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