I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
