i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
