Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
