Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
