I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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