I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
