Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
