he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
