It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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