i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
