he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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