I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
